The only thing I managed to write for the movie was this scene of dialogue between Jim and I. This is based on an actual conversation we had. I'm the Randal type character, and Jim is the Dante type character. Kind of ironic, since in reality it's probably more the other way around.
This was pretty much my attempt at ripping off Kevin Smith.
Tony walks into room where Jim is on his break.
Tony: You know what I just realized?
Jim: You work at an amusement park for minimum wage?
Tony: No. In Star Wars Episodes 4 and 6, the first and second Death Stars explode, leaving massive explosions in their wakes.
Jim: Obviously. So?
Tony: Well obviously, anyone with a 3rd grade education knows that there is no oxygen in space, and fire requires oxygen to burn. Therefore, there never could have been an explosion of that magnitude.
Jim: Well, there was the oxygen that was inside the Death Star. That could have easily supplied a sufficient amount of oxygen for the explosion. Thus, the genius of George Lucas prevails over your imbecilic knowledge.
Tony:…you bring up good points. Still, this brings up yet another discrepancy of the Star Wars saga. Where did the oxygen in the Death Star come from? How did the Empire recycle oxygen? Did they have a green house inside there? If so, did they have Imperial gardeners? Were they Mexican?
Jim: Oh come on, now that’s just out of line. If they did have a green house, I’m sure that the Empire would have been an equal opportunity employer, just as long as the applicant remained loyal to the Emperor. Even then, I’m sure the inclusion of green foliage would have clashed with the grey and silver aesthetic of the Death Star interior.
Tony: Fine, whatever. Still, I wonder how a space station as massive as the Death Star could have kept up that much oxygen during the entire time span of its existence. [pause] Wait. How do they do it in real life?
© Tony-Ely Arrizon 2006